The neon glow of the phone screen lit up the darkened room. The words on the screen seemed like I was reading a flashback journal entry from a few months ago. Yet, this time they were the words of a friend. Glimpses of that lonely dark hallway that I felt like I sat in for years were flashing in my memory. During that very grim time, I had wondered how the Lord was going to use it in my own life and prayed that one day it would be a lesson that I could glean from in order to encourage another. That time had come.
She shared with me her struggles. We finished each other's sentences. I could feel the pain in her words and I could recall so vividly where she was in her walk and in her life.
Then it came out. It was hard, it is never easy, but I had to open up and share with her where God had me in order to draw me closer to Him.
I finished preparing a meal for my family and I politely excused myself for some alone time. I went into my bedroom and sat on the side of my bed and wept. Wept like a loved one had passed away. I cried out to God and begged Him to speak to me. I longed to see His hand move and to be reminded that He loved me. I found a piece of scrap paper lying on the floor and I began to list my sins. Specifically naming my transgressions and asking Him to forgive me of each and every one of them. My tears soaked the page. Then I felt Him speak to my heart and say, "I love you and forgive you and I will never leave you." I tore the page up and threw it away. Soon after, my husband appeared by my side. I couldn't speak but a gentle touch was what reminded me of God's love for me in the actions of my precious husband.
Confession. It is so hard. It doesn't matter how old you are. At 3, it's hard to confess you snatched a cookie. At 16, to confess that you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be. At 36, to admit and confess that you still don't have it all together and need the grace and forgiveness of a Savior more now than ever! Confession is hard because you have to speak it. Repentance is difficult because you have to stop and turn away from it never to return. Both of these sanctifying actions must take place in order for healing to begin. I had to confess in order to heal.
The story of Rahab in Joshua 6 is one of my most favorite stories in the Bible. The story of Achan in Joshua 7 is also one of my favorites. (You are probably jaw dropped right now when I said that ...but wait, I will explain.)
Joshua and the Israelites conquered Jericho (with trumpets you might recall). Before the town was destroyed, Joshua said to the people, "But keep yourselves from the things set apart, or you will be set apart for destruction. If you take any of those things, you will set apart the camp of Israel for destruction and bring disaster on it. For all the silver and gold, and the articles of bronze and iron, are dedicated to the Lord and must go into the Lord’s treasury.” Joshua 6:18-19
Soon after, the Lord speaks to Joshua and tells him this, "Go and consecrate the people. Tell them to consecrate themselves for tomorrow, for this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: There are things that are set apart among you, Israel. You will not be able to stand against your enemies until you remove what is set apart. In the morning you must present yourselves tribe by tribe. The tribe the Lord selects is to come forward clan by clan. The clan the Lord selects is to come forward family by family. The family the Lord selects is to come forward man by man. The one who is caught with the things set apart must be burned, along with everything he has, because he has violated the Lord’s covenant and committed an outrage in Israel.” Joshua 7:13-15
The next morning the tribes of Israel present themselves and Achan is the one to be found with a portion of loot from Jericho. Joshua pleads with him saying, “My son, give glory to the Lord, the God of Israel, and make a confession to Him. I urge you, tell me what you have done. Don’t hide anything from me.” Joshua 7:19
Then Achan confessed in detail of what he had taken and where it was hidden, "Achan replied to Joshua, “It is true. I have sinned against the Lord, the God of Israel. This is what I did: When I saw among the spoils a beautiful cloak from Babylon, 200 silver shekels, and a bar of gold weighing 50 shekels, I coveted them and took them. You can see for yourself. They are concealed in the ground inside my tent, with the money under the cloak.” So Joshua sent messengers who ran to the tent, and there was the cloak, concealed in his tent, with the money underneath. They took the things from inside the tent, brought them to Joshua and all the Israelites, and spread them out in the Lord’s presence." Joshua 7:20-23
Then after this Achan and his entire family suffered death by stoning because of Achan's sin. Each time that I read this story, I think about my own life. What if my family were punished for each of my sins? That night when I confessed a long line of sins that I needed to repent from my heart was freed. Joshua cared so much for Achan but he couldn't save Achan from his sin.
This story is one of my favorites because it constantly reminds me of the beauty of the love that was demonstrated on the cross by my precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He loved me so much that He became sin and died for me. Unlike Achan, I can confess and be forgiven and repent from my sin. Jesus Christ died so that I may be free from sin and forgiven. In order to be forgiven we have to admit we are wrong and have failed and that is not always easy. As humans, we hate to be wrong and being humble doesn't come naturally to many people.
As I continued to talk with my friend, I was reminded that no matter what we have done or where we have been. There is a Savior waiting with open arms to love us and forgive us if we turn to Him. We can bring our cloaks, gold, and shekels to the feet of a gracious and loving Savior that will remove our sins as far as the east is from the west and gently restore our souls.
"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:12
Be a Joshua to someone that may need encouragement. Intercede on behalf of someone that you know is struggling in their walk with the Lord. Offer a word of love and prayer in their presence so that you may be Jesus in the flesh, you never know they may have just asked the Lord to remind them that He loves them and you may be the one that has been sent to do that! You may just be an answer to prayer!
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The urgent request of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect."
James 5:16
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